i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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