haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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