I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My penis needs a shock collar
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
