Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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