He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
