She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
