I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
