Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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