he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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