brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
