her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you never un-have a 4some
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
