His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
