with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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