yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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