Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize