One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
