I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
