I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
