kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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