Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
