thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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