I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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