There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
