Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Someone stole a lamp last night.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
