Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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