If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
