Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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