What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
