are you still at the devil's house?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
time to smoke my breakfast
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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