I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
