it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So much rum. So many feels.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
