I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
