I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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