maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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