Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
