I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
