the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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