You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Mom said you looked used
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
