I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
