Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
