i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
