I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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