i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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