I'm lost and stupid without you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
