Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize