Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
