Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
