sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
