So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
