Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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