ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
