Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
