hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
