and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
